“Self care” for extremely fucked up times
I am not a believer in toxic positivity, so I’ll tell it like it is: these are extremely fucked up times. While it’s crucial to acknowledge this, it’s also crucial to do what’s within our capacity to care for ourselves as best we can. Below are a few ideas for how to keep our mental health in check given the current climate of our world.
Watch a bug
When “wellness experts” advise mindfulness, this concept might feel a little confusing or inaccessible. My recommendation is to choose something very small and give it your full attention for about 5 minutes (or longer, of course). Literally, go watch a bug.
Climb the ladder
When you feel overwhelmed with dread, fear, or grief, your body can go into a state of shutdown, and your nervous system enters a dorsal vagal state. Look at the image below: in order to ascend back to a regulated, ventral vagal state, you MUST climb the ladder. And how do we climb? We move. Movement is the way to shift and to change. This does NOT mean you need to go to the gym or on a run! Tiny movements work wonders. A deep breath is movement. Looking up at the ceiling is movement. Shaking out your hands is movement. ANY movement helps.
Choose your role
Firstly, if you belong to a marginalized group and your sense of safety is threatened, you’re entitled to deeply rest. If you’re feeling called to advocate or involve yourself, refer to the diagram below. Pick 1-3 areas where you can show up, and stick with that. We can’t do everything all at once, and showing up meaningfully in fewer ways makes a huge impact.
Forced boundaries with technology
While it is important to stay informed, it’s equally important not to overwhelm your nervous system by taking in constant information without boundaries. A regulated nervous system is one of our greatest tools for resistance and strength. And, factually, social apps like Instagram and TikTok are designed to hit us with dopamine and make it feel impossible to put them down. I recently got an app called Brick, which allows you to block certain apps on your phone during selected times. The only way to “unbrick” your phone is to scan this little device. Otherwise, the boundaries are imposed. This can be helpful for those of us who may feel powerless over hitting the “ignore” button on our screen time notifications. The tip here is to allow yourself set times during the day to access social media apps (or any other apps that you choose to brick). Not to mention, staring to a tiny screen strips our awareness from our other surroundings and we miss life’s meaningful little details.
Container for engagement times
When you do choose to engage, create a container for yourself to keep it intentional. This might look like setting time limits on taking in information (15 minutes of reading the news, twice a day for instance). It can help to create a ritual around the engagement as well. Perhaps playing your favorite song and stomping your feet when you’re closing out, or lighting a candle, pulling Tarot cards, saying a prayer, etc.
Don’t isolate
Find connection in community. If you’re too burnt out for face-to-face time, consider joining an online community. Again, when we think accessible, think scaling down. No need to go out for brunch or a concert. Can you send a text to a trusted friend? Participate in a subreddit thread? Talk to a therapist?
Sensory rest
This one is especially important for neurodivergent folks who may struggle to identify what your body’s needing when overwhelmed. Make yourself a sensory sanctuary by thinking of maximum comfort for all senses. For example: burn your favorite scented candle, set up your ideal lighting dimness [I highly recommend getting Bluetooth bulbs so you can pick out your color-of-the-moment], look at something soothing like art or pets, find just the right temperature, wear your comfiest, non-restrictive clothing, etc.
Stay engaged with your purpose
Humans are hardwired to create meaning out of our lives. Ask yourself what feels meaningful to you? When you’re feeling most alive, what are you doing? This might be spending time with your beloved pet, eating delicious foods, going to a spiritual gathering place or nature.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl
Customize to fit your needs
You do YOU! Customize each approach to suit your unique perspective and experiences. There’s no roadmap for surviving such chaotic times, so attune to yourself and use any of this advice as a suggestion. Only you know what you need.
